Don’t worry! We all know what it’s like. Those horrible, sneaky, sleazy, dishonest, backbiting, manipulative, and awfully impossible-to-work-with co-workers are everywhere. It’s just like high school again, where you simply can’t rid of that annoying bully who’s ready to make a rude comment or two about the way you look, talk, eat, dress, or whatever. The horrible co-worker is that same bully – who has grown up, but still has a lot of growing up to do.
Letting yourself be “victim” to this bully is the wrong move. Just like high-school, you’ve got to deal with this annoying brat of an employee and show her she can’t bring you down. You’re not in school anymore, you’re in a workplace, and you want to stay because your career depends on it!
Here are ways you can tackle this bully of a co-worker:
1) Scratch the Cat Back: Instead of letting your emotions peak and looking like the kooky yourself, you’d want to think of ways you can deal with the work bully yourself. A mean co-worker can be “handled with care” by being tactful in the way you respond to her inappropriate behavior. If you want to get even with this bully, and do it their way. Plan up clever vengeful tricks that would throw the cat where she belongs. Some bullies truly deserve to be known and exposed in a way that affects their career. This shouldn’t make you feel bad because you’re actually doing the workplace a favor by exposing this bully.
2) Control the Monster with Kindness: Just like Lilo does with Stitch, you could tackle this monster with kindness (if they deserve it). Their frustrations and hostile nature could be a result of the ignorance and hostility of other people they know in their lives. Maybe this little beast needs a hug to cure his pain. Maybe she just needs a gesture of kindness in response to their cruel remarks to prove to them that people really aren’t that bad. The compassion will give you a sense of calmness and ease even when the beast is not acting up to his best behavior. You know you are better than them and they can’t affect your “peace” one bit.
3) Try to Put Yourself in Their Shoes: Get to know them. Find out why they are the way they are. Maybe they think of the rudeness as a way to “manipulate” people and they don’t know the negative effects of the behavior. In that case, you could let this beast know that this won’t work and suggest different ways this can be achieved that doesn’t involve hurting other people (befriending them, give and take relationship, etc.).
4) Withdraw from Negative Situations: The bully is clearly a person with negative karma. His words hurt you or other people around. Sometimes, the negativity in such people is best dealt with by distancing yourself from them or the situation. Negativity breeds negativity and it is best to keep yourself far away from negative situations and negative thoughts for this reason. The bully’s negative thoughts would transfer to you, and your own negative thinking would impact your life in a, you know– negative way.
5) See the Good in them: This is probably the least preferred tip, but it could be the most effective. A co-worker could be mean and manipulative just like a mean boss, but he could also be very good at what he does. This could be why they’re in the game in the first place. Do not criticize the person or deal with them in an unprofessional manner. For example, telling them to “man up” or “go to hell” may give you great feeling, but it’s just the wrong approach. Find the good in them (their work, their ability to multitask, diligence, long list of references, or achievements) and focus on those qualities. Maybe, they could teach you something you didn’t know.
If you feel that the damage this co-worker does is not only affecting you, but also the people around and the entire workplace negatively, then you might need to do more than just amend your own attitude. Remember, you don’t want to stoop to their level get emotional or talk rudely. First, confront this bully yourself. If all else fails, talk to a person with authority or list a formal complaint if the case is severe. If the workplace is dominated by such people, maybe you’d want to fish for another place and position in the job market (another workplace).
About the Author:
James Thompson is an experienced writer having a diversified expertise in education, career and technology based writing. He provides consulting for the
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