Top Networking Tips: Wisdom Access Questions
When you are looking to create a value based relationship with someone and really make a connection, you need to seek their wisdom by asking them “wisdom access questions.” These are the questions that start with the word “what.”
Questions that start with the word why, who, when and how are information seeking questions, not wisdom seeking questions. These questions are mostly grounded in the past and don’t produce the truly rich responses that allow you to get to know someone and build a meaningful relationship.
The wisdom access question approach is a terrific way to build your skill at learning things that are unique about others. Here are some examples of information seeker versus wisdom seek questions. Hopefully you can see how the wisdom seeker questions would produce a much more detailed and informative response.
| Information Seeker asks: | A Wisdom Seeker asks: |
| Why is this happening? | What do you need to do to get through this? |
| How does this limit your options? | What will improve when this obstacle is overcome? |
| Why do you have this problem? | What can we do to help you with this problem? |
| How are you going to accomplish this? | If you had all the time you needed, what would you do? |
| Who can do this? | What resources could help you with this? |
| Why does this seem so difficult? | What do I need to understand to make things more clear? |
Using “what” questions versus “how” or “why” will provide you unbelievable insight into others. If you tap into their wisdom you can find out what’s important to them. This is about tapping into your inner wisdom and helping others do the same.
Dan Sullivan, the CEO of a company called ‘The Strategic Coach,’ has written a quick-read book around a powerful wisdom access question called The Dan Sullivan Question.
That question is “If we were meeting here three years from today, what has to happen for you to be particularly pleased with your progress?”
Once you get an answer you can follow up with questions such as:
- What are your biggest dangers that could prevent you from accomplishing that future?
- What are your biggest opportunities if that future is real?
- What are your biggest strengths you bring to bear in making it happen?
It’s been found that more than 70% of people don’t know what they want when you ask them, but almost everyone knows what they don’t want. But, if you reflect the discussion back to them with a “what” question and keep your focus on solutions and the future, they will tap into their wisdom and discover what they want.
Remember to prepare for any event with wisdom access questions before you go. Think about the kind of people you’re going to be meeting and the questions that would help you to connect with them.
Wisdom access questions make people delve deep. When they respond, you’ll be able to really understand them as people and be guided to things that you can help them with. Because as we all know, it’s about creating value for others.
