Personal Growth Lesson #3: Why Cancer is Not All Bad
Have you ever wondered what you would tell yourself if you ever had the chance to have a do over on life? We all have those life lessons that could have contributed significantly to our personal growth if only we had known them when we were making the mistakes.
As part of a life’s lessons series by Abubakar Jamil I wanted to add 3 of My Life Lessons in Personal Growth, the biggest being number three.
Lesson #1: Relationships Come First, Then Everything Else Will Fall in Place
Life tends to be full of change, which makes it hard to have control over everything in our lives. However, the one thing we do have more control over are the relationships we develop. It’s these relationships that really help when life tries to make the changes we weren’t prepared for.
Unfortunately, I’ve been distracted by the world at times to neglect those. In college I was focused on school and my 3 jobs to make ends meet. I didn’t take the time to add to the relationships as well as I could have. As a result, I’ve lost touch with friends I had growing up. There are a lot of missed opportunities because of this.
I’m thankful for the relationships I do have. When my car has failed me, there was someone to pick me up. When I needed to move, trucks full of help arrived. When I was in hospitals, I always had someone by my bed. It’s easy for me to put a job or money as top priority at times, but those are temporary when compared to the benefits of relationships.
Lesson #2: It Really is About Who You Know
I know that everyone who talks about career advice and personal growth will at one point or another mention this cliche, but it’s true and I wish I had paid more attention to it earlier than later.
As I first started looking for jobs it didn’t seem to be a big deal. All I had to do was stop by a few promising businesses, ask for an application, fill it in and then I was in the door. Likewise, it was fairly simple to do this online as well.
In college I managed to pick up several great jobs including being a Dell Representative just by keeping my eyes open for opportunities.
Then it hit me, at the worst possible time that it could. I was about to graduate from college during the worst recession America’s faced in a lifetime and I had very few solid connections to get me a job in the field I was graduating in. I was on my own to find a job and it was slim pickings.
Luckily, I found an opening right when I’d be graduating, but it was far from an ideal position. For the next year I was stuck cold calling while I continued searching for the career I really wanted. Thankfully, I eventually got there, but I could have spared myself the stress and dislike of working in a job that wasn’t my first choice or added to my personal growth.
If I could have spent more time working with the professor’s who knew the good marketing jobs, or spent more time in the career center to find the right people to network with, I may have been able to jump start my career that much faster.
Lesson #3: Cancer is Not All Bad
The third lesson has been one of the strongest for my personal growth. When I was 8 years old I was diagnosed with Leukemia. As scary as it is for a child to have cancer, I was lucky to be somewhat naive to the overall seriousness of it. Sure, I was sick, bald, and weak, but I trooped through it like any child would (have you ever seen a cowardly child cancer patient?)
Two years later it relapsed, and it was much worse trying to fight it the second time. I feel awful that any 10 or 11 year old would have to be a two time cancer survivor and what it meant to get there. Radiation, chemotherapy, and a bone marrow transplant eventually put the cancer in remission and I’m here 13 years later to tell my story.
Because of going through that experience at a young age I’ve learned things no other child gets the opportunity to. If I could go back and give my 8 year old self advice I’d say;
“Bryce, what you are about to experience is going to be one of the toughest trials anyone could face. You’re going to have days where you’re body is so weak others will have to move you just so you can eat, drink, or sit up. You’ll be so sick that for weeks you’ll throw up blood after your stomach has no food or water to replace. You’re immune system will be so compromised that for a year you won’t be able to go outside or in public unless you wear a mask.
But, as bad as that sounds, it doesn’t even compare to what you’ll learn because of it. You’ll learn that no matter what happens to you, life is what you make of it. You’ll learn that when you are closest to dying all you really want are your family and friends. You’ll learn that you can never judge a person because you just don’t know what challenges, sicknesses, or trials they’ve been through.
And then, Bryce, you’ll learn that ‘to much is given much is required,’ that because you’re life has been spared, you better make a good life out of what is left. “
To this day, I remind myself of those lessons, and hope to live up to the expectations I’m making for my personal growth.
How About You?
I hope the life lessons I’ve shared can help you reflect on your own. I’d love to hear what personal growth lessons you would share with your younger self if you had the opportunity, in the comments below.
image melanieburger
Bryce, this is such a great post, and it's because you've shown readers a side of you that's very personal yet a great learning tool for others.
of course you cancer lesson is by far the most powerful, but I also liked your first lessons, and totally agree with what you are saying. If not for relationships we wouldn't really get a sense of who we are and what our place is in life.
Thanks Steven,
Those two lessons really went together in my life and it was really hard to put one over another. If I had to go through cancer again without the relationships I probably wouldn't have the ability to fight as hard as I did the first two times.
It feels like the importance of relationships feels downplayed at times because it's spoken about so often. I hope by sharing from personal experience the lessons here will mean something.
Bryce,
That was a good insightful read and I am glad to include it in the Life Lessons Series. Thank
you for your participation.
Abubakar,
Appreciate it. Thanks for sharing with your readers.
you are a tough survivor, keep it up
Thanks Farouk,
I appreciate your visits. You have an impressive online business and had to work hard to get there. Let me know if I can do anything for you.
Bryce, My guess is you had some wonderful parents (no.1) to help you cope with cancer as a child. (n0.3) What you write is very powerful. Have you thought of a book about your experience. I had goose bumps or should I say Truth bumps as I read it.
What a nice compliment Tess,
I've been reading your blog as well and what you talk about on The Bold Life is inspiring.
To answer your question, I have always written bits and pieces about it when it was appropriate, but I never gave it serious thought for a full book. I guess I was always oblivious to the whole publishing process, and that's a world I know nothing about.
My mom did an excellent job of keeping a journal with her throughout the whole period of time I was fighting it. I might have to give it more thought now that I'm older and can at least do some research into whether a book like that would sell or at least get read.
I appreciate your comments and hope to see you on the blog in the future.
Of course you should never put money over friend ship. But i think there comes a time in a mans life, where you have to push aide the need to be with people all the time. And just place your whole existence on putting your dream in a chock hold. For i believe the more you chase a dream the further it moves from your existence. The only way to get it, is to grab it. And you may stumble over a few relationship at whits end. But in the end, i think it's worth it.
Thanks for that,
It's an interesting perspective. Depending on your dreams you may need to distance yourself from some relationships, ie if you want to stop drinking as much you may not want to spend as much time with your drinking buddies. At the same time, there may be other relationships that could really help you reach those goals.
So overall, I wouldn't say relationships altogether would hinder you reaching your dreams but you can always evaluate what relationships are important for your goals.