Do You Mean What You Say?
How often do you say things that are really throw-away remarks? You know like, “Thanks” or “Have a good day” or “love you” … yeah, you sort of mean it but it’s really a habit and the person on the receiving end doesn’t really feel like you mean it … REALLY.
Here’s a suggestion: think before you speak.
If you are grateful to someone be specific: “Bob, thanks for the great job closing the deal at ABC. Your understanding of their requirements cut the sales cycle time way down. It meant a lot to our making the monthly numbers.”
WOW, does Bob feel great or what? He knows that you not only appreciate the experience and knowledge he brings to bear on client situations but you recognize that he was a major contributor to the success of the company.
Think and Be Specific
By thinking through what you’re grateful for and then being specific your gratitude feeds the confidence of others.
Many people sat down to dinner and someone probably suggested that each person say what they are thankful for. For some it was easy because they simply said: “Hey, I’m grateful for my family, and my friends and this awesome dinner.”
But, others, those who were thoughtful about their blessings, probably said: “I’m grateful for my family. Thank you for supporting me in all my crazy endeavors. I’m grateful for my friends who put up with my crankiness when I take on more than I should. I’m grateful to Melinda for making this awesome dinner. And, finally, I’m grateful for being blessed with family, friends, a home and this wonderful dinner when so many others have so much less.”
Now the people around the table feel that you recognize their contribution to your life and they are grateful to you for acknowledging them.
This same principle works with the phrase, “love you”. How many times do you throw out those two words at the end of a phone call, as you leave for work? Over time they cease to have a lot of meaning.
Add on the Why
Another suggestion: add on the “why”. So, you love them. Why? What are all the little things you love about them?
Try this: I love you
…for always getting my jokes
…because you inspire me to do more
…because you make me laugh
…because of your great smile
…for thinking about what I want
…for being so kind
…because you love me
…because you rock
…for your honesty
Just keep a running list in your head (or, if you’re older you can write it down) of all the reasons you love another person. The things that they do that mean a lot to you. Now, tell them. Let them know you are paying attention, not taking them for granted; that you really appreciate them.
Love and gratitude are two sides of the same coin. It’s impossible to love someone and not be grateful.
image thomas hawk
i like that post , thank you for writing it:)
Farouk … I'm always grateful when someone takes the time to comment on a post … thank you!
It is very interesting article! and helpful:)
Thanks! We appreciate you taking the time to comment.