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Hoary Marmots and the Meaning of Persistence

Jim Dryburgh Personal Growth, Professional Development 18 Comments , , , , ,

A few weeks ago I spent some time in the mountains at Lake O’Hara outside of Calgary vacationing away from the 110° heat of Scottsdale.

The scenery was gorgeous, snowcapped mountains reflected off the lake as if it was made of glass.  Flowers blossomed across the wilderness with little effort.  All in all it was a very relaxing environment.

And, as happens with most vacations, I was taught an interesting lesson on perseverance.

Adventures With Whistle Pigs

Days on the lake consisted of hiking, playing cards, and socializing for the most part.  Typical things you might do when you vacation out in the woods.

One day, as I was minding my own business, a strange scratching noise came from the porch outside my window.

At first I wasn’t sure what it was.  The sound was like someone dragging their nails across the surface of a desk.

So I got up to see who or what was making such an odd noise.  Just a few feet outside my window was North America’s largest ground squirrel, the hoary marmot, sometimes referred to as a “whistle pig.”

The scratching noise was the sound of its buck teeth eating chunks out of a post on the cabin’s deck.

Being a responsible guest, I decided to let the lodge owners know there was a creature eating their precious cabins.  They were thankful for the heads up, and let me know they would bear spray the area to help keep the animals away.

Thinking all was well, Lori and I went out for some dinner while they worked on the cabin.  Upon coming back, we immediately started coughing, our eyes were tearing up, we were feeling the effects of the bear spray. Likewise, we could hear similar wheezing from the neighbors next door to us.

There was no way we were going to be able to sleep under those circumstances, so we avoided the cabin for a few more hours while the lodge people watered everything down so we could breathe again.

The next afternoon, the scratching was back.  Sure enough our friendly marmot was back undeterred by the bear spray.

So once again, I let the lodge owners know their unwanted guest was back and suggested they might try using some cayenne pepper and vegetable oil as a paste around the area the marmot was chewing.

They thought it was a great idea and immediately started working on the solution.

After coming back later that day, all looked well.  We could breathe and the chewed area of the post was sufficiently covered with cayenne pepper.

The next afternoon came and the scratching was back.

This time the marmot wasn’t eating his typical area of the post. He had managed to stretch himself as high as his little feet could get him so he could eat just above the pepper that was covering his previous meals, along with any of the sides that were skipped.

Lessons in Persistence

1.  No Doesn’t Always Mean No

When the bear spray was used across the deck and surrounding area, any ordinary marmot may have taken that as a sign to stay out.

Not our marmot.  The spray maybe meant, no eating deck wood for the moment, but not forever.

I know many times I hear “no” and don’t even bother trying a second time or check back on the question after I’ve given it some time.  That extra persistence many times is all it takes to really reach our goals or the opportunities we seek.  Ask any two year old.

2.  When a Door Shuts, a Window Opens

After the bear spray failed, the next experiment was the pepper.  Even though the marmot’s prime eating zones were now untouchable, he still recognized other opportunities.

Other parts of the post were still just as tasty.

The same thing happens in our own lives.  Maybe we are looking for a job and an opening closes right after we interview.

Bryce, our marketing lead, had that experience. Before joining us he interviewed heavily with another company about a marketing position. They had dogs in the office, it was close to where he  lived,  he thought it would be perfect.

After not hearing back for a few weeks he found out that they were not able to get budget approved for the position.  He was disappointed, but kept looking.  Eventually The Balanced WorkLife Company found him and he joined us. The pay was better, there were more opportunities, and the work was more interesting. This was a win win.

3.  The Best Rewards Are Not Easy

With pepper covering his optimal dining choices, the marmot would have to make a tough decision.  Either go back to the woods and eat the Top Ramen bland variety of wood he had easily available, or stretch himself a bit more to taste the delicacy of the deck wood at the cabin.

We often find easy routes and hard routes in our lives.  It’s easy to graduate from high school and decide you don’t want to go any further with education.  It’s hard to take out loans, apply to schools, and make new connections, but you’ll be rewarded for it.

What Does Persistence Mean to You?

Do you have any stories about the meaning of persistence?  What did you gain from having it?

How to Take the Politics Out of Networking

Jim Dryburgh Networking Tips 2 Comments , , ,

How do you feel when you enter a convention or networking event?  Nervous, shy, uncomfortable?

This distress is understandable.

Typically, we rise through the ranks through our strong command of the technical elements of their jobs and a 24/7 focus on accomplishing our objectives. When challenged to move beyond our functional specialty and address the strategic issues facing the business, many times we don’t get that this will involve relational— not analytical—tasks. Nor do we “get” that these relational interactions are not distractions from their “real work” but are actually at the heart of new leadership roles.

In addition, some of us find networking manipulative—at best, a disingenuous way of using people—at worst, a process tightly meshed with office politics and power struggles.

Humans are political by nature. In many respects, political activity is synonymous with influencing activity. Scholars such as Maslow and McClelland have demonstrated that we are hard wired to achieve, if only to put food on the table or to be accepted by supportive social groupings. This requires that we have to influence other people in some way.

For many, the difference between influence and politics is found in the underlying intent that motivates the action. In most cases the actions — and the skills — are identical.

If the intent is orientated towards self-interest, lack of trust pervades and politicking escalates. When the motivation is to move the organization forward while recognizing personal interest, collaboration can flourish.

Value Based Networking’s fundamental premise is that you provide value to others FIRST. The best networkers take every opportunity to give to their network.

That said, a network lives and thrives only when it is used. You must do something—anything—that gets the ball rolling and builds confidence that you do, in fact, have something to contribute. And, you must also be willing to accept help. The law of reciprocation says that when you do things of value for others they will want to return the favor—and you must let them.

If you are holding on to the belief that you don’t do politics you can create a blind spot which may prevent you from developing positive influencing skills and developing powerful networks.

If this applies to you, reflect on the questions below.

1. When you hear the words “politics” and “influence” and “networking”, what thoughts come to mind?

2. What are the differences between these words?

3. What skills are relevant to each?

4. How good are you with these skills?

5. In your organization, what sort of politics dominates the culture?

6. What is motivating this activity?

7. Where does trust feature in this?

8. How well does all this fit with your values and integrity?

9. Who do you know who is able to survive and thrive with the right motivations?

10. What do they do that you don’t do?

11. Could you find a way to maintain your integrity and flourish in this climate?

12. What new things would you have to learn to be able do this?

Building a value based network is a matter of will. You must be willing to take the first step; to make the effort.

Networking is also a skill, one that takes practice. We have seen that people who work at networking can learn not only how to do it well but also how to enjoy it. The trick is to get your mind around your intent and motivation and then determine what value you can bring to others.

image courtesy of MyTudut

Job-Hopping: Smart Strategy or Career-Stopper?

Jim Dryburgh Guest Articles, Professional Development 18 Comments ,

We are grateful to have a Guest blog from our good friend and colleague, Bob Waite.  Bob is an extraordinary writer and marketing strategist I have worked with over the years. Now that Bob has set up his own firm after years of corporate life our hope is to partner strategically on client engagements.

Although the recent recession and its attendant real estate crisis slowed the pace, frequent job hopping continues to be the strategy of choice among many North American workers, especially those under the age of 35.  And why shouldn’t it be? According to Chicago-based outplacement firm Challenger, Grey and Christmas, who survey on the topic annually, fully 94% of individuals changing jobs report receiving an increase in some combination of salary, bonus, benefits and perks.

But is frequent job hopping the right strategy for everyone?  Perhaps more importantly, does the instant gratification of a bigger pay packet necessarily lead to a better career path and greater personal satisfaction and well-being?

Is Job Hopping the Right Strategy?

The answer, I would maintain, is similar to that given for many other perplexing questions—“It depends.”

For the purposes of this article, I am going to lay to one side the very folks that began the trend of frequent  job-changing more than two decades ago – the programmers, software engineers and other highly-skilled technical workers who made places like San Jose, Research Triangle and the 128 Corridor look and feel like the Sacramento or Yukon gold fields. My focus will be on management, the people who lead groups, functions or whole divisions within organizations. My thinking is very much based on my own experience as a manager at half-dozen large organizations or companies.

How Did My Job Hopping Experiences Begin?

I fell into a pattern of job hopping completely by accident. My initial career right out of university was as a newspaper reporter and editor in New England. One of the things that attracted me to journalism was that it gives you a license to ask questions – to continuously learn.  It also makes you curious about who holds and exercises power.  It was in that context that I made my first real career jump—to politics. I became a press secretary, first to Senator Edward W. Brooke; then to Senator Bob Dole.

Working in government was fascinating. Among other things, it soon became apparent that the nexus of power was not to be found in the halls, corridors and anterooms of Washington. D.C.  Business seemed a more likely answer.  Thus, a few years later, when IBM approached, I was very open to making a second leap, this time to the corporate sector.

This was the IBM of the early 1980’s, superbly confident and deeply committed to employee education and promotion from within. The company had an education center in Armonk, New York that rivalled the facilities one might find at a top liberal arts college. I was swiftly put through New Manager’s School, and, a year later, a kind of mini-MBA program called Advanced Management School.  I was made head of External Programs, IBM’s version of the State Department. There I came to see that while IBM wasn’t exactly running the world, they had pretty good access to those who did.

When George Bush Calls, Should You Take the Offer?

Life was good. But then, abruptly, I job-hopped again. Why?  The long arm of government, in the form of the Reagan Administration, reached out and grabbed me. After initially rebuffing recruitment efforts, one day I was called in by my boss, the CEO of IBM World Trade. “I received a call from Vice-president George Bush today,” he said. “It seems they need you. I think your taking this job offer is an intelligence test.” Not wanting to be revealed as completely stupid, I took the position.

It was a mistake at several levels.  First, I was leaving a job I really liked. Second, I was leaving a department—my people—in the lurch.  And third, I was leaving a boss, the CEO of World Trade, who, while in some ways a delusional megalomaniac, was at least MY delusional megalomaniac.

I did not know my new boss, who had once been a roommate of George Bush’s at Yale. Getting to know him did not improve the situation. I stayed two years—in that day and age, it was thought ruinous to stay for a lesser period—and got out.

Learning From Job Hopping Mistakes

The experience completely changed my career philosophy. I decided I would no longer entertain frequent and abrupt job changes.  On the other hand, I also decided, in line with my desire to experience continuous learning (and avoid boredom), I would swap out not only companies, but also sectors, every five or six years.

My template has been fairly straight-forward. I come in, reorganize and rejuvenate a function; identify and, if necessary, recruit a successor; then after five or six years, move to the next opportunity. My experience taught me that a five- or six-year cycle allowed for an 18-month learning curve; three or more years of peak performance (and mentoring) and a year or so of transition.

I did this at Ford, IBM (yes, I returned for six years), CAE (an aerospace company focused on flight simulation), CIBC and Canada Post Corporation.  In most instances I worked for new- to- the-job CEOs, and was able to bring to the task a toolkit based on cumulative, real-world experience.

Why We Job-Hop

There are many reasons senior executives make a career change. Some are passed over for the very top job and want to find another path to the corner office. Some are lured by better compensation packages. Others move—or don’t move– for lifestyle reasons.

I have a brother, Tom, who has worked for several consulting firms, including McKinsey and CSC Index. He always juxtaposed the consulting model, with its simultaneous multiple clients, with my model. “We’re proudly promiscuous,” Tom would say. “You, on the other hand, are serially monogamous.”

So is job hopping a smart thing for management?  It depends.  In my case, I needed to find a model that not only stimulated me to do my best work, but also satisfied my employers that a five or six year stint was in their best interests, too.  It worked well for my needs.  And the companies seemed well satisfied. And there is, of course, the additional bonus that you will get a lot of Christmas cards from all of the executive recruiters who have placed you over the years!

What Are Your Job Hopping Experiences?  Have They Been a Blessing or a Curse?

Sometimes leaping from one job to another can be the best decision you can make.  If you’re in a dead end job, just plain miserable, or burnt out, you need to plan your next move.  However, sometimes you don’t find out that a new opportunity wasn’t all it was made out to be, until you’re already 6 months in.

Where do you lean in the debate? Maximize your opportunities by taking higher pay and new positions when the opportunities present themselves? Or secure your career by showing you are loyal, with long specialized experience with several years in a company?

If you want more, you can subscribe to Bob Waite’s newsletters here.

image courtesy of Chris Bloke

Two Way's to Live Your Life

Jim Dryburgh Personal Growth, Professional Development, WorkLife Balance 8 Comments , ,

It’s a new year and once again I’m going to remind you that there are two basic ways to live your life the next 12 months.

Way #1

One way, and in my observation the most common, is the following 3 step process:

1.       Show up

2.       Stuff  happens

3.       Respond well

This practice has the advantage for those who use it that if the 3rd part works out, you can look like a hero. If it doesn’t work out, well, you can blame the fact that you couldn’t possibly have known that that Stuff would happen.

Personally, I don’t recommend this strategy. It might carry you along for a while but over time you gain the reputation of a non-planner, not being in control, being reactive vs. proactive … not characteristics that are going to take you to or keep you in the executive suite.

But, hey, it’s your choice. Personally I think it’s like rolling dice … maybe you’ll be lucky, maybe you won’t but it won’t be your fault. It won’t be your fault that you haven’t been promoted, it’s not your fault that you haven’t had a raise since 2001, no one can say it’s your fault that life hasn’t worked out for you. You’re just not lucky. By the way, good luck with that choice.

Way #2

The second way to live your life is to choose to live the next 12 months WITH PURPOSE! It goes like this:

1.       Set one goal for where you want to be in 3 years  (January 2014) – personally and career-wise

a.       E.g. Personally – Weigh XXX lbs, have run my second marathon, debt free except for mortgage. Seriously reflect, if you could have one aspect of your personal life be different 3 years from now, what would it be?

b.      E.g. Career-wise – Promotion to Director, recognized by my industry as an expert in my field, am established in a new career in the XXX field. Again, seriously reflect on how you want your career to progress or change at the end of three years.

Remember to make these SMART goals – Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Timely.

And, by the way, it doesn’t matter if you’re 18, 28, 38, 68 or 98 … everyone needs goals to live with purpose. If you’re retired, set goals for volunteering or meeting new people or mentoring a young person or raising award winning roses or travelling to faraway places … have a purpose, a reason to get up in the morning!

2.       Now look at your first goal.

Does it look daunting? Step back, think about it, you’ve got 350 days left in 2011, BONUS 366 days in 2012, 365 days in 2013 and 15 days in 2014 – that’s 1096 days to make this one thing happen.

If your personal goal was to lose 200 lbs, for example, take that weight loss and divide it by 1096 … how much is it you’d have to lose per day? Is that doable? By my calculation that would be 3 ounces per day … by the end of 2011 you’d be down 64 pounds.

You see often our problem is that when we look at a goal it can be daunting. What we need to do is chunk it down into bite-sized pieces that feel more achievable and will give a sense of accomplishment and the confidence to keep going.

So, take that 64 pounds and break it down again into 90 day milestones. By the end of March you will have lost 14 lbs., by the end of June another 17 lbs, by the end of September yet another 17 and finally by January 14, 2012 you’ll have lost another 18 for a total of approximately 66 lbs.

And, the good news is that by this time whatever you have been doing to lose weight; diet, exercise, less wine, whatever; you now have new habits so continuing on to lose the rest is much easier.  In fact, I suspect that you will have lost more than 66 pounds if you’ve developed these habits.

Now go through this same chunking down exercise with your career goal. What could you realistically achieve by the end of 2011? And, 366 days later? Then set out the activities you will want to accomplish over each 90 day period to generate progress toward accomplishing this goal.

3.       Finally, get out your calendar. Put calendar entries for the milestones that will hold you accountable.

Weigh yourself every week and track it. Are you losing 3 ounces a day – a pound and a third a week? Don’t worry about ups and downs but hold yourself accountable and make course corrections if necessary.

If three years seems too long a time frame for you to stay motivated then set your goals over a shorter period, one year or two.  Whatever works for you …

Okay, now here’s the magic. When you set goals and WRITE THEM DOWN and create milestones to hold yourself accountable … your brain figures out that you’re serious about this and it finds ways and means to help you do it more quickly, better, easier. You’ll find yourself looking at opportunities differently … in fact; you’ll see opportunities that you wouldn’t have recognized before you started this process. You will have trained your brain!

Don’t take my word for it. Thousands of people over thousands of years have written about this, practiced it, helped others do it. Why, because it works!  Don’t believe me, just Google: goals. You’ll find 123 Million results!

So, as I said at the beginning, it’s your choice.

It’s your decision to either live the next 11 months and 16 days with PURPOSE or to let life “happen” to you, be a victim of circumstances and look back on New Year’s Eve 2011 and ask yourself what the heck happened to the time. What did I accomplish?

If you want some help with this stuff give us a call. We do it all the time for ourselves and we help others do it.

Here’s to a happy, healthy, purpose driven 2011 that will lead to prosperity and fulfillment.

image courtesy of clara zamith

Networking Self-Analysis: Who Can You Call at 2 a.m.?

Jim Dryburgh Networking Tips No Comments , , , , , , , ,

Have you been down-sized or laid off and looking for a job? Are you making it through the interview process but not getting the offer? Can’t close the deal in your major account? Overlooked for promotion even though you’ve got great credentials? Do you need help making your project successful? Are you looking for an introduction to a potential customer or need a referral to a new accountant?

What do those issues have in common?

The common thread is: You need other people to help you. No person is an island.
We all need other people in our lives: People who are willing and able to help you get a job, help you with a sale, recommend you for a promotion, work with you for successful completion of a project.

There’s an old adage my wife’s mother used to tell her: “It’s as easy to meet and fall in love with an educated, interesting, and amusing fellow with good manners as it is to do the same with his opposite…you choose.”

Of course, that said, it was then up to her to be the kind of person who could add value to the life of that fellow. In other words, become educated, interesting and well mannered with a knack for determining what I valued and finding a way to give it to me. We’ve been married for 40 years so the advice obviously worked!

Most of us have lots of people in our lives. Family people, work people, activity people, community people. And those people fill all the time in our lives. They fill it such that we have very little space left for more people – for those who, if we nurtured them, could reciprocate with high value for us.

What am I saying here? There are many people who, if we knew them, could help us to be more successful, accomplish our goals, and gain access to resources.

The Most Powerful Question You Can Ask of Your Network

And, I’m not just talking about networking for business or career advancement.
In Harvey Mackay’s book Dig Your Well Before You’re Thirsty, he asks the question, “Who can you call at 2:00 a.m.?”

This is the most powerful question you can ask of your own network. Who can you really count on? And, who’s counting on you? Who would call you at two in the morning?

Value Based Networking is not for those who want to make a fast buck or manipulate others for power. It’s about building strong relationships. It’s about connecting and how to maximize your connections so that they can benefit from you – and, how you can benefit from them.

BUT, for these relationships to happen, you need to first figure out who they are; what are their interests and passions, who do they associate with, what do they belong to? Then you need to figure out what you have in common with them and how you might create value for them. Finally, you connect.

Consciously choosing and investing in relationships will have the biggest impact on your achievement of your life’s potential. If you reach out to others with the intention of helping them, it will come back to you many times over. You will be connected. And the people you are connected to will help you achieve your life’s goals.

image courtesy of B Rosen

How to Become a Trusted Adviser

Jim Dryburgh Networking Tips 1 Comment , , , , , , , ,

How to Become a Trusted Adviser

I included a picture of guide dogs because there is no better symbol of trust than the relationship between disabled and their canine partners.  These dogs understand what it means to be a trusted adviser above all else.

Where are you on the Relationship Path?

The kind and depth of value you provide to your network will depend on where you are and where you want to be on the relationship path. There is a distinctive Relationship/Networking Path that ranges from a basic friendship to a strong advice and counsel situation.

If you’re in the friend/social contact range the value you offer the person includes connecting them with others and letting them help others, including you. At the mid-point, the relationship will be deeper, and you’re more likely to help them understand their thinking and solve their problems. And if you’re in the trusted advisor range, you’ll be focused on interaction that will support their dreams and make them more successful.

The majority of our relationships are friend/social contacts. These are the people who would either come to or acknowledge your funeral and who would definitely come if you called for help.

But what does it really mean to be a trusted adviser, and is that the relationship you want with one or more people in your network?

The 6 levels of a relationship:

Level 1 – They don’t know my name
Level 2 – They do know my name
Level 3 – They like me
Level 4 – They are openly friendly with me
Level 5 – They value me
Level 6 – I am a trusted adviser!

Visualize this concept as a ladder where there are various distances between each level or step of the ladder as you climb from level 1 to level 6.

Think of Level 1 in a sales situation: the customer remembers being introduced to their sales rep, but can’t recall the name.

There is little distance between Levels 1 through 4, but the distance increases significantly between Level 4 – They are openly friendly with me – and Level 5 – They value me.

There is another big jump from Level 5 to Level 6 – I am a trusted adviser. In fact, true level 6 trusted adviser relationships are somewhat few and far between. Why? Because not every job or life situation offers the opportunity to play that role and not everyone wants or needs that type of relationship.

Think about a sales person who works with the same account for many years and creates a value-based relationship with the customer – over time they are asked for advice and options because they are trusted to help solve problems versus push products.

According David H. Maister, Charles H. Green, and Robert M. Galford in their book The Trusted Adviser, the key to professional success is the ability to earn the trust and confidence of clients.

When a client trusts you they will:
• Seek your advice and listen to you
• Let you ‘into their world’ where you can see opportunities to be helpful
• Treat you as you wish to be treated and give you the benefit of the doubt
• Watch your back to be sure you get the business you deserve to win
• Refer you

Becoming a trusted advisor takes time and effort, and will not happen over night. Remember to be realistic about the level of relationships you need, given your unique circumstances, and to always follow the first rule of Value Based Networking: provide value first before expecting anything in return.

images courtesy of Kansas Sabastian and Esther Gibbons

The Steps to Value Based Networking Part 3: WOW and Attitude

Jim Dryburgh Blog, Networking Tips No Comments , , , ,

So far we’ve discussed the first three steps of Value Based Networking, which are to create a networking baseline, network with purpose and add value to your network. The fourth and final step is to be a WOW! person. How do you that? By not allowing yourself to get stuck in an attitude trap and by transforming a normal event into a WOW event.

Let’s start with attitude. Vince Lombardi said, “Winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing.” To get closer to the truth, Lombardi should have substituted the word attitude for winning!

Think about the New York Yankees: They spend the most money of any baseball team in the league to build the most talented team of players, but yet they can’t win a World Series. Why is that? Could it be that they don’t all have that winning attitude?

A positive attitude needs to be there all the time, in the background, as fuel to run your engine without toxic emissions.

How to Improve Your Attitude

· Practice gratitude very day

· Always protect your confidence and your team’s confidence

· Always remember when things go wrong it is no one’s fault but yours

· Remember you always have a choice

· Always use half-full communications

· Always say why you like things

· Ignore junk news. Work on something that enhances your life or your organization’s

· For the next 6 months read positive books and materials

· Help others without expecting a return

· Never stay in a bad mood for more than 5 minutes

People with great attitudes and high confidence will find it relatively easy to go beyond ‘value’ to adding WOW, which may ultimately lead to loyalty. Anyone can do it with a little planning.  What does WOW stand for?  What Others Want.  That doesn’t sound too profound but it has BIG implications if you’re committed to creating WOW experiences for others.

WOW is about exceeding a person’s expectations. It’s providing an experience for someone that makes such an incredible impression they will naturally want to share it with family, friends and colleagues.

What WOW People Are Known For

· Always making it about the other person

· Appearing to put great care and thought into things you do for others

· Creating surprising or unique experiences for others

· Exceeding expectations, even when others didn’t realize they had expectations

What might be a WOW interaction? A good example is the story about the writer who sent an editor a coffee mug imprinted with a quote from the editor’s favorite author.  Depending on the interests of the individual, the artifact could be a mug, a t-shirt, a coaster, a sports bag. And the personal imprint could be a sports team, a favorite bar of music or a picture of a flower they’re passionate about growing.

How about a golf game? Rather than just proposing the normal round of golf, one time you invite the person but surprise them with a lesson from the pro. Afterward you meet for lunch and talk about the experience. You won’t get as much out of it, but they will. And remember: it’s all about them and the value you’re creating for them.

Having trouble coming up with ideas? Look at every aspect of your customer’s experience and figure out how you can take it from ordinary to extraordinary. Build loyalty! And once you do, you’ll have yourself an incredible value based network that will be there for you in the good times and bad and power your future.

The Steps to Value Based Networking Part 2: Add Value to Your Network

Jim Dryburgh Networking Tips 1 Comment , , , ,

In our last article we discussed the first two steps of Value Based Networking, which are to create networking baseline and to then start networking with purpose. The next step – the third of four – is critical, because it’s what Value Based Networking is all about: Add Value to Your Network.

The first way to add value to your network is to ask wisdom access questions. Your focus should be on developing long-term relationship with people, and the best way to find out about another person is to ask “what” questions. We call these wisdom access questions because they allow you to access the wisdom in the other person.

Example Wisdom Access Questions.

What would make a difference?

What could be learned from this?

What are your biggest opportunities?

What one thing would you do in your business if you knew you could not fail?

They may find it difficult to respond to these questions, but when they do, you’ll have a list of things that you may be able to help them with and thereby, provide value to them. In fact, just asking questions like these can help them clarify their thinking to such an extent that the question itself is valued.

Harness the Power of Many

A second way to add value to your network is to harness the power of many. Think about all your relationships – work, customers, family, friends – and how you might connect them. If you can bring your contacts together they’ll learn from each other and share common issues and/or points of view. And that’s valuable to them.

For example, arrange a lunch for the CFO of your organization with the CFO of your client. They can share best practices or just discuss the ways in which the economy is stretching their perspective.

Another idea is to invite one of your customers to an event to share one of her success stories with others in your network who you know would be interested.

Become a Trusted Adviser

Another way to add value to your network is to become a trusted adviser. Basically, relationships range from friendship to a strong advice and counsel situation.

Being a trusted adviser means that you support someone’s dreams and help make them more successful. There are 6 levels to a relationship, with trusted adviser as the final level:

Level 1 – they don’t know my name

Level 2 – they do know my name

Level 3 – they like me

Level 4 – they are openly friendly with me

Level 5 – they value me

Level 6 – I am a trusted adviser!

Moving from one type of relationship to another takes time and depends on the kind and depth of value to provide to people.

Follow Up With Gratitude

The final way to add value to your network is to follow up with gratitude. Being valued starts with the simple things, so always follow up immediately after any meeting or contact.

Bob Burg, in his book Endless Referrals, Network Your Everyday Contacts into Sales, suggests following up with a personal, handwritten note. Burg suggests you purchase preprinted cards that have your picture, mailing address, and email address on them with enough space for a handwritten note.

Once you have the cards you simply write something that you felt was important from your conversation, slip it into an envelope and mail it. Your note will stand out because it’s handwritten – not an effortless email – and the photo reminds them of you. The time and effort will pay dividends down the road!

Providing value to your network is essential and must be done sincerely before you can expect others to provide value to you.

Check out our next article, which will detail the fourth and final step to Value Based Networking: Be a WOW person.

image: peter pearson

The Steps to Value Based Networking Part 1: Your Purpose and Baseline

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To realize your ultimate potential you must take charge of your Value Based Networking in a strategic manner. Because regardless of where you are in your career or life, you need to invest in people and relationships.

Value Based Networking is performed in 4 steps. Here are the first 2 steps to take to get you on the path to a powerful value based network:

1. Establish a Baseline

The first thing in establishing a baseline is to determine where you are in the world of networking. Are you the greatest, the worst or somewhere in between? What can you do to improve your networking skills so that you can get the most out of the time you spend networking and the relationships you have and want to have? Are you investing enough time in networking and how can you go about making networking a priority?

Next, write down a list of the top 20 people who are in your network. Start with business colleagues, clients, vendors and then move to friends and family. Now, beside each name, put the date of the last time you had an interaction with them. It could be a face-to-face meeting or a phone call or an email.

Then, think about the value you provide to that person. What is it you do for them that creates value? Do you listen to them? Provide advice? Connect them with others? Next, think about the value that person brings to you and write a short statement of what that is.

Now, look at your list. Who on that list can make a difference to you achieving your ultimate potential? Put a star beside their names. These are the first people with whom you want to concentrate on developing a deep, mutually satisfying relationship.

The next step is to:

2. Network with Purpose!

Value Based Networking is about having people in your life who are in a position to help you gain access to key decision makers and to new and exciting opportunities. It’s about not just surviving but thriving in today’s complex matrix organizations. It’s about having people in your life who can help your career and who can enrich your life, overall.

To really network with purpose you’ll need to think about both the short and long term.

Short term: Who do you want in your life that can enable and energize your business and personal success over the next two years?

Long term: Who do you want in your life that will be a catalyst for accelerating and optimizing your future for the next three to ten years?

Go into this assuming that anything is possible. Who is the most powerful connection you would like to make? What about Bill Gates? Or Melinda Gates? Or your company’s CEO? What would you try if you knew you wouldn’t fail?

Once you are able to create your networking baseline and then start networking with purpose, you’ll be well on your way to creating a value based network to power your future and put you far ahead of the rest of the pack.

image courtesy of Chuck Coker

You Get What You Give: The Law of Reciprocity

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Value Based Networking is all about you creating value for others first and not expecting anything in return. It’s about all of your relationships being based or founded on the notion that you have value you can share with others, for their benefit, not yours.

This may be hard to comprehend, but if you approach your relationships with the thought of providing value first, before anything else, an amazing thing will happen.

The Law of Reciprocity

It’s all based on the Law of Reciprocity. The law states that whatever you do will be returned back to you. In other words, if you want to create success for yourself, help someone else become successful.

When it comes to success in your life, the law of reciprocity will help you gain unparalleled amounts of success. The more you help others gain what they are looking for the more you will be helped in return. It may not seem like this is the case on the surface but you cannot give without receiving back.

Giving and receiving favors is a common exchange and is an implicit assumption in most of our relationships. Everyone must benefit from a relationship and invest in the relationship and acts must be mutually rewarding.

For example, I love to read and research topics. So, when I come across an article that I think will be of value to my colleague Doug, I send it on with a note. I provide value to him and I get a kick out of helping him with new information he might not otherwise have access to.

By doing for others you make favorable impressions on them and relationships blossom as you extend courtesy, kindness, honesty, respect, and other favors. Even if favors are small, such as the example I just mentioned, they accumulate over time as you build trust and create a history of what to expect from each other. People evaluate your actions and motives through giving and receiving.

Reciprocity is a basis of trust and a basis for legitimate power. The principle is that others will reciprocate in kind based upon the way you treat them. The world gives you what you give to the world. In fact, oftentimes the world gives you back much more than you may have given in the first place. And what better way to build trust and respect in a relationship if you are always looking out for and helping others?

Keep in mind that reciprocity isn’t something that is always instantaneous; therefore, persistence is vital. Even if you’ve found yourself saying, “I’ve tried that and it doesn’t work,” don’t give up! At the proper time you will reap the harvest – and it will be bountiful By understanding and using the power of reciprocity, you can improve your current relationships and build new and lasting relationships that will power your future.

In life and work, you get what you give. So go out there and give it your all, because in the end, it will come back to you.



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